Once upon a time there were three little pigs who lived in a makeshift sty with their mother. One day, when it came time for them to leave and seek their fortunes, she called them around and said, “You are free to do whatever you wish to but remember to do it the best you can. And, mind you, if you don’t, there are a lot of big bad wolves out there who will eat you up otherwise.”
Each little pig then immediately decided that the thing highest on its list of priorities would be to build a house so that the family could finally have a home where they could live comfortably for the rest of their lives.
Now the first little pig who believed he lived in a perfect world, built his house out of love and fresh air because it was the easiest thing to do. Before long, however, a nearby wolf who also believed he lived in a pretty decent world since it seemed to be populated with tasty little pigs who tended to take the easy way out, came calling. At first he tried to talk his way in to gain entrance but when that was denied on flimsy grounds, he began showering all manner of ill-will and abuse upon the house. Within moments the structure collapsed completely allowing the wolf to rush in and gobble up the little pig.
The second little pig who had an evangelical streak in him and possessed a missionary zeal to improve the world, built his house out of faith, hope and charity. It was a matter of time, though, before the wolf who had already got a taste of the family, moved in for the kill. Yet again, his words failed to induce the pig to open his house to a hungry stranger. As a result the wolf had to show him how evil could coexist in a world that denied him food as a means for survival. In the face of such a practical assault on his virtue, the pig’s improvised construction broke down and the wolf had another meal.
The third little pig, on the other hand, was different. For one thing, he was far more practical. Remembering his mother’s words to do the best he could, he built only a chimney. At first the wolf tried all forms of rhetoric but when he still couldn’t get into the house which wasn’t there, he decided to use the chimney instead to climb down into it. But the clever little pig had already put a cauldron of boiling water at the fireplace end and the wolf fell straight into it and died. The little pig quickly brought his mother over and they lived happily inside the chimney ever after.
Moral: Having only one goal in life is even more self-defeating.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
13 key lessons that make up who I am
o It is all in the Mind, if you think you can, you can
o Your power to receive is more important than someone’s power to give
o To get, first you must give
o Connect with people – finally, leadership is all about people
o Life is a constant negotiation – never feel surprised with the need for it
o The overachiever is always on a slippery slope – one must always carry the ski-poles of humility as you negotiate your success
o One must build respect the marginal person in life – the small folks are more important than the big ones
o Passion is what passion does – life is not about the armchair revolutionary
o In your profession and in life, resilience is more important than brilliance
o The key to your happiness is not money
o One must learn to look beyond oneself, my pain is as large as my inability to see the pain on the face of the guy next to me
o We must learn to forgive ourselves and forgive others as we grow up
o Self-doubt is a good thing – all over-achievers will go through it sometime or the other
o Your power to receive is more important than someone’s power to give
o To get, first you must give
o Connect with people – finally, leadership is all about people
o Life is a constant negotiation – never feel surprised with the need for it
o The overachiever is always on a slippery slope – one must always carry the ski-poles of humility as you negotiate your success
o One must build respect the marginal person in life – the small folks are more important than the big ones
o Passion is what passion does – life is not about the armchair revolutionary
o In your profession and in life, resilience is more important than brilliance
o The key to your happiness is not money
o One must learn to look beyond oneself, my pain is as large as my inability to see the pain on the face of the guy next to me
o We must learn to forgive ourselves and forgive others as we grow up
o Self-doubt is a good thing – all over-achievers will go through it sometime or the other
Monday, July 14, 2008
Expectation.......
She has always admired her father for his discipline. Now she is married. She expects her husband to be disciplined, which she believes is an essential virtue. Oh, on discipline he never makes the grade. She is dissatisfied with him and he is frustrated with her.
“My mother has always been honest and transparent. The problem with you is that you never tell me the whole stuff about your life,” the husband complains to his wife. “Look at your brother's handwriting - it is a piece of art, and look at yours,” the mother nags the daughter. “In my earlier organisation we never used to operate like this,” cribs the new General Manager. “In America we don't have these issues,” cries the NRI about India.
Expectation isn't a problem; benchmarking expectation is.
She gives her father a '10 out of 10' on discipline and is not satisfied with her husband who is tottering at 4 or 5. See, for him 5 is his 100% score - for his nature, temperament, upbringing, and conditioning, he will never make beyond 5 on discipline. This is him and this will be him. There must be some other quality on which the husband must be a perfect 10 and her father won't make the necessary grade. The wife may never be as transparent as the mother, but she may be very selfless in financially aiding the family. The daughter may outperform the son in singing. You believed in better growth prospects here than the previous organisation, and that's why you are here.After all, India doesn't have some of the issues that the world has.
No one is inferior to others on all counts and no one is superior to the rest on all measures. We all have our pluses and we all have our minuses. No one is zero-defect. No one is all-defect. Stop focussing on isolated qualities. Start relating to the whole being.
However, there is a twist in the tale. When I am dissatisfied with others it makes me unhappy, but when I am dissatisfied with myself it helps me grow. When I benchmark others with my expectations, it leaves me dissatisfied with others and thus affects my happiness. When I benchmark myself with my expectations, the dissatisfaction created propels my growth and development. When I demand a '10 out of 10' from myself on excellence, integrity, purposefulness, character, competence, etc… it shows me where I stand and where I need to go. The gap becomes the scope of my transformation.
On all matters, rate the world on '5' and rate yourself on '10'. Not that the world is any less capable or you are super-human but because… Without happiness there is no life. Without dissatisfaction there is no growth. To live and grow let's be Happily Dissatisfied. Proclaim, “I am living. I am growing.”
I am happy with the way you love me. For my part, I will find more and more ways to love you.
“My mother has always been honest and transparent. The problem with you is that you never tell me the whole stuff about your life,” the husband complains to his wife. “Look at your brother's handwriting - it is a piece of art, and look at yours,” the mother nags the daughter. “In my earlier organisation we never used to operate like this,” cribs the new General Manager. “In America we don't have these issues,” cries the NRI about India.
Expectation isn't a problem; benchmarking expectation is.
She gives her father a '10 out of 10' on discipline and is not satisfied with her husband who is tottering at 4 or 5. See, for him 5 is his 100% score - for his nature, temperament, upbringing, and conditioning, he will never make beyond 5 on discipline. This is him and this will be him. There must be some other quality on which the husband must be a perfect 10 and her father won't make the necessary grade. The wife may never be as transparent as the mother, but she may be very selfless in financially aiding the family. The daughter may outperform the son in singing. You believed in better growth prospects here than the previous organisation, and that's why you are here.After all, India doesn't have some of the issues that the world has.
No one is inferior to others on all counts and no one is superior to the rest on all measures. We all have our pluses and we all have our minuses. No one is zero-defect. No one is all-defect. Stop focussing on isolated qualities. Start relating to the whole being.
However, there is a twist in the tale. When I am dissatisfied with others it makes me unhappy, but when I am dissatisfied with myself it helps me grow. When I benchmark others with my expectations, it leaves me dissatisfied with others and thus affects my happiness. When I benchmark myself with my expectations, the dissatisfaction created propels my growth and development. When I demand a '10 out of 10' from myself on excellence, integrity, purposefulness, character, competence, etc… it shows me where I stand and where I need to go. The gap becomes the scope of my transformation.
On all matters, rate the world on '5' and rate yourself on '10'. Not that the world is any less capable or you are super-human but because… Without happiness there is no life. Without dissatisfaction there is no growth. To live and grow let's be Happily Dissatisfied. Proclaim, “I am living. I am growing.”
I am happy with the way you love me. For my part, I will find more and more ways to love you.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Gossip............
The most uncivilised activity of the civilised world is gossiping. Even the most educated and the socalled elite indulge in this uncivilised activity. Gossip is ruthless entertainment. In gossip, the tongue and the intelligence are let loose. In more than one way, gossiping is vulgar indulgence.
In fact, people come together to form associations and clubs, and gossiping is the lifeline for their fellowship. The most dominant preoccupation of these groups is to discuss about those who aren't present. Never trust a gossiper. After you leave, the one who was gossiping with you will gossip about you with others. Every gossiper will gossip about other gossipers, and this is the noble truth.
Hypocrites are those who sweet-talk on the face and bad-mouth behind your back. We shamelessly distort the images of people through gossip, without the slightest care about how much it might affect their lives. Millions of lives will be saved from suicide if gossipers only choose to be of moral support to the emotionally hurt, rather than making news out of them.
Gossip is judgement passed out of half knowledge. Every gossiper eventually drinks his own poison.He becomes highly other people conscious. His mind is curious all the time - “What are others saying about me?” Judge not and ye shall not be judged. The contrary is also true. Judge and ye too will be judged. Gossipers no more live life through their own spectacles, but instead live to satisfy the spectacles of others.
When this thirst and hunger for knowledge is canalised towards realising the higher realities of life, growth happens. We make a blunder by feeding this very thirst and hunger for knowledge with gossip. Aristotle, Freud, JK and us - the quest to know is the same. If they had been gossipers, they would have been among us. If we can stop gossiping, we can be among them.”
What does a lion have to do among the cats? The next time the gang around you begins to gossip, just walk away. Refuse to speak or hear about those who are not present, especially when what is discussed is judgemental, negative and
insensitive. Let our rapture not come at the cost of rupturing the
hearts of other people.
Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.
In fact, people come together to form associations and clubs, and gossiping is the lifeline for their fellowship. The most dominant preoccupation of these groups is to discuss about those who aren't present. Never trust a gossiper. After you leave, the one who was gossiping with you will gossip about you with others. Every gossiper will gossip about other gossipers, and this is the noble truth.
Hypocrites are those who sweet-talk on the face and bad-mouth behind your back. We shamelessly distort the images of people through gossip, without the slightest care about how much it might affect their lives. Millions of lives will be saved from suicide if gossipers only choose to be of moral support to the emotionally hurt, rather than making news out of them.
Gossip is judgement passed out of half knowledge. Every gossiper eventually drinks his own poison.He becomes highly other people conscious. His mind is curious all the time - “What are others saying about me?” Judge not and ye shall not be judged. The contrary is also true. Judge and ye too will be judged. Gossipers no more live life through their own spectacles, but instead live to satisfy the spectacles of others.
When this thirst and hunger for knowledge is canalised towards realising the higher realities of life, growth happens. We make a blunder by feeding this very thirst and hunger for knowledge with gossip. Aristotle, Freud, JK and us - the quest to know is the same. If they had been gossipers, they would have been among us. If we can stop gossiping, we can be among them.”
What does a lion have to do among the cats? The next time the gang around you begins to gossip, just walk away. Refuse to speak or hear about those who are not present, especially when what is discussed is judgemental, negative and
insensitive. Let our rapture not come at the cost of rupturing the
hearts of other people.
Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.
What's the Indian definition of privacy?
What's the Indian definition of privacy?
The fact is, Indians love to discuss personal lives, whether it's ours or someone else's. So at office canteens, you'll find men and women discussing diverse personal issues, ranging from their spouse's birthday party, to their domestic squabbles, their parents and in-laws, neighbors, children, children's friends, their school...blah blah.
But, my cousin is right. In the U.K., and in many other developed economies, colleagues rarely get down to discussing personal lives.
While I really wouldn't like to get into the merits and demerits of this culture, the lack of awareness on privacy-related issues does raise concerns over data security. This transcends itself at a systemic level. Since there are no privacy laws here (the Data Protection Bill 2006 definitely won't get approved anytime soon), even companies and clients go unscathed when they sell personal information to telemarketers and others. Service providers can easily pass the buck onto their employees. And employees know they won't get caught.
This callous attitude toward privacy can definitely prove costly. For instance, most credit card companies and banks here ask customers for their mailing address, mother's maiden name, birthday, and so on, to verify their identity before they give out critical information. How difficult is it to get that in India?
Today, you find so much personal information on social networking sites. Almost everyone gives out their birthdays, including the year of birth, status of their personal relationships (the whole cyberworld know when break-ups happen; a news feed is up on Facebook the very next hour), job details, address, phone numbers, interests, and so on.
Privacy has little meaning here in India. If there was a field for "funds in your bank" or your "net worth" in a form, I am sure there will be many who will gladly provide the information.
As Internet penetration increases and the medium touches more lives, Indians--much as some other communities--will have to take a closer look at issues pertaining to privacy. We will have to be more "privacy compliant"--both at an the individual level, as well as at a systemic level.
The fact is, Indians love to discuss personal lives, whether it's ours or someone else's. So at office canteens, you'll find men and women discussing diverse personal issues, ranging from their spouse's birthday party, to their domestic squabbles, their parents and in-laws, neighbors, children, children's friends, their school...blah blah.
But, my cousin is right. In the U.K., and in many other developed economies, colleagues rarely get down to discussing personal lives.
While I really wouldn't like to get into the merits and demerits of this culture, the lack of awareness on privacy-related issues does raise concerns over data security. This transcends itself at a systemic level. Since there are no privacy laws here (the Data Protection Bill 2006 definitely won't get approved anytime soon), even companies and clients go unscathed when they sell personal information to telemarketers and others. Service providers can easily pass the buck onto their employees. And employees know they won't get caught.
This callous attitude toward privacy can definitely prove costly. For instance, most credit card companies and banks here ask customers for their mailing address, mother's maiden name, birthday, and so on, to verify their identity before they give out critical information. How difficult is it to get that in India?
Today, you find so much personal information on social networking sites. Almost everyone gives out their birthdays, including the year of birth, status of their personal relationships (the whole cyberworld know when break-ups happen; a news feed is up on Facebook the very next hour), job details, address, phone numbers, interests, and so on.
Privacy has little meaning here in India. If there was a field for "funds in your bank" or your "net worth" in a form, I am sure there will be many who will gladly provide the information.
As Internet penetration increases and the medium touches more lives, Indians--much as some other communities--will have to take a closer look at issues pertaining to privacy. We will have to be more "privacy compliant"--both at an the individual level, as well as at a systemic level.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
