"Thinking of a Lion while it is a Cat"

Last week we were informed that our Business Unit Head is going to visit our office and everyone in the project is going to meet him and anyone can raise the concerns to him.

So myself with my friends were discussing in the pantry about the BU head and how about the guy? Whether our concerns will be solved or its waste of our time? Will it be effective to putforth the questions in front of him? etc etc...At the same time we all know getting an opportunity to meet BU head is like seeing rain once in a while in chennai....

On that evening, I played in my mind the entire sequence - how I would open the dialogue ,how i would stand my ground, how to react for his questions, whether my questions are valid and start keep on thinking about it, because I have seen lot of managers(they term themselves as management gurus of the company) and act like they are too worthy for the company and shows all our problem will be solved by positive speech.Afterthat, there won't be any remedy or reply for our issues.Yeap,true...Thatswhy they are called as managers because they manage the problems and for solution we want to find some one else.But it's our responsibility to put forward our points even if it not reached there ears.

As expected, the meeting day also came and i got an opportunity to met him personally as well.He is very friendly and gave time to narrate my points clearly even he was in a busy schedule.He was happy that i took the issues to his notice and he was satisfied with my discussion.

But i am not satisfied because the questions i have played in my mind was not at all asked by him.I couldn't digest how poorly I had handled the situation and the enormous stupidity I had put myself through. I walked out looking sheepish.

How often we go through unwanted emotional stress and turmoil before a confrontation, only to be faced with something of an anticlimax. The obviously unnecessary thought process makes us feel terrible - before, during and after. Yeah, sometimes things don't work out so easily and you have to fight your way. But why go in spoiling for a fight? Why anticipate a negative response? Why enter a discussion thinking your demand will be turned down? Why expend your time and energy in preparing to face a lion when it's only a cat? Why take a negative approach? Why worry about something before it happens? We would save a lot of unwanted stress if we simply decide to hold our response until the situation presents itself.

No matter what the situation, you have a case if you are true. Contingency planning doesn't apply here. When you aren't sure whether it's a cat or a lion you are about to face, preparation proves pointless. Anticipation makes a mountain out of a molehill. Face it when you come to it. Let the wisdom of the English idiom prevail -

cross that bridge when you come to it

.

From my Brain....

The cucumber seller

The cucumber seller of Chennai At peace with himself and with the world rushing past, this man was dressed in poverty.
But in his presence, it was I who felt poor (SUBROTO BAGCHI-The author is co-founder & chief operating officer at MindTree Consulting).

On a hot July day, my colleague Moses and I were trying to locate our car on Chennai’s Nungambakkam High Road in front of Nalli Silks when I saw a roadside cart laden with cucumbers. The seller was vacantly gazing at passersby. Clad in a white shirt and a dhoti worn in the traditional Chennai style, he had long hair and an unkempt beard. I did not know Tamil, and asked Moses to find out the price. One rupee apiece, came the reply. We wanted one piece each. The cucumber seller began deftly slicing them to put salt and the delectable red chilly powder on the neat halves. As we bit into the cucumber, I asked Moses to tell him that his pricing was too low, and that he should raise it. Moses conveyed this. The seller shook his head, and replied that “customer satisfaction” is more important than extra profit. The words ‘customer satisfaction’ were in English. I gulped my patronizing comment. At this time, Moses excused himself to find our car. After a few moments, the seller asked me in English where I was from. From Bangalore, I replied. What follows here is our conversation.
His statements are highlighted.

Isn’t the Karnataka budget due to be presented tomorrow? Yes, that is true. Living in Karnataka, it was easy for me to concur on this.

I wonder how the governments of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu will ever solve the water-sharing problem. Man cannot solve this problem. It has to be God. After all, it is an issue of how much rain is going to fall! I nodded. I was not sure if I had a view at all.

See the way the monsoon is progressing. It does not look good. The progress of the rains is leaving a ‘V’ of a dry patch as the clouds move north. Bihar, Orissa, Madhya Pradesh and the states up north will have problems. Politicians are the ones who use such problems to create a divide among people. They always do it. They use water, religion, anything they can, to create a divide. Look at the way Amarinder Singh of Punjab is taking a stand. I looked at him, in part admiration and part disbelief.

You’re from Bangalore. Things are going well for you folks. But I don’t understand how people with shady business interests can become representatives of public opinion there. It was part complaint and part observation. At this point, a fellow peddler arrived — helped himself to some of the cucumber, and the two had a quick conversation on some issue I did not understand. After the other person left, I asked him if selling cucumber was his full-time vocation. He told me that right now it was. Earlier, he sold lottery tickets, the trading of which has since been banned. As a result he had to switch his business to selling cucumbers on the wheeled cart. No complaints and no issues. Meaning to engage him further, I asked him his religion. This drew an instant look of disappointment from him: “Sir, I am an Indian. That is my religion. In my eyes, all people are equal, and it does not matter to me at all.” The clarity of his response and his conviction took me completely by surprise. His net worth was probably equal to his day’s turnover. The newspaper and magazines he reads, to keep abreast of things, wipe off the disposable income he generates. Bare feet on this busy, dusty road, he sold a low-value, perishable product from a rickety cart. At peace with himself and with the world rushing past, this man was dressed in poverty. But in his presence, it was I who felt poor. We are not complete if we are not connected. It is only when we are connected that things make sense. Only when things make sense, we can form an opinion. Standing there, I wondered how many in the corporate world know who the chief minister of Punjab is, and about the progress of the monsoon! How many have an informed view on river water politics and budget proceedings of another state. Soon, Moses appeared with our car. It was time for me to go. I shook hands with the nameless cucumber seller of Chennai. Actually, I wanted to touch his feet.

Story of 3 little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs who lived in a makeshift sty with their mother. One day, when it came time for them to leave and seek their fortunes, she called them around and said, “You are free to do whatever you wish to but remember to do it the best you can. And, mind you, if you don’t, there are a lot of big bad wolves out there who will eat you up otherwise.”

Each little pig then immediately decided that the thing highest on its list of priorities would be to build a house so that the family could finally have a home where they could live comfortably for the rest of their lives.

Now the first little pig who believed he lived in a perfect world, built his house out of love and fresh air because it was the easiest thing to do. Before long, however, a nearby wolf who also believed he lived in a pretty decent world since it seemed to be populated with tasty little pigs who tended to take the easy way out, came calling. At first he tried to talk his way in to gain entrance but when that was denied on flimsy grounds, he began showering all manner of ill-will and abuse upon the house. Within moments the structure collapsed completely allowing the wolf to rush in and gobble up the little pig.

The second little pig who had an evangelical streak in him and possessed a missionary zeal to improve the world, built his house out of faith, hope and charity. It was a matter of time, though, before the wolf who had already got a taste of the family, moved in for the kill. Yet again, his words failed to induce the pig to open his house to a hungry stranger. As a result the wolf had to show him how evil could coexist in a world that denied him food as a means for survival. In the face of such a practical assault on his virtue, the pig’s improvised construction broke down and the wolf had another meal.

The third little pig, on the other hand, was different. For one thing, he was far more practical. Remembering his mother’s words to do the best he could, he built only a chimney. At first the wolf tried all forms of rhetoric but when he still couldn’t get into the house which wasn’t there, he decided to use the chimney instead to climb down into it. But the clever little pig had already put a cauldron of boiling water at the fireplace end and the wolf fell straight into it and died. The little pig quickly brought his mother over and they lived happily inside the chimney ever after.

Moral: Having only one goal in life is even more self-defeating.

13 key lessons that make up who I am

o It is all in the Mind, if you think you can, you can
o Your power to receive is more important than someone’s power to give
o To get, first you must give
o Connect with people – finally, leadership is all about people
o Life is a constant negotiation – never feel surprised with the need for it
o The overachiever is always on a slippery slope – one must always carry the ski-poles of humility as you negotiate your success
o One must build respect the marginal person in life – the small folks are more important than the big ones
o Passion is what passion does – life is not about the armchair revolutionary
o In your profession and in life, resilience is more important than brilliance
o The key to your happiness is not money
o One must learn to look beyond oneself, my pain is as large as my inability to see the pain on the face of the guy next to me
o We must learn to forgive ourselves and forgive others as we grow up
o Self-doubt is a good thing – all over-achievers will go through it sometime or the other

Expectation.......

She has always admired her father for his discipline. Now she is married. She expects her husband to be disciplined, which she believes is an essential virtue. Oh, on discipline he never makes the grade. She is dissatisfied with him and he is frustrated with her.

“My mother has always been honest and transparent. The problem with you is that you never tell me the whole stuff about your life,” the husband complains to his wife. “Look at your brother's handwriting - it is a piece of art, and look at yours,” the mother nags the daughter. “In my earlier organisation we never used to operate like this,” cribs the new General Manager. “In America we don't have these issues,” cries the NRI about India.

Expectation isn't a problem; benchmarking expectation is.

She gives her father a '10 out of 10' on discipline and is not satisfied with her husband who is tottering at 4 or 5. See, for him 5 is his 100% score - for his nature, temperament, upbringing, and conditioning, he will never make beyond 5 on discipline. This is him and this will be him. There must be some other quality on which the husband must be a perfect 10 and her father won't make the necessary grade. The wife may never be as transparent as the mother, but she may be very selfless in financially aiding the family. The daughter may outperform the son in singing. You believed in better growth prospects here than the previous organisation, and that's why you are here.After all, India doesn't have some of the issues that the world has.

No one is inferior to others on all counts and no one is superior to the rest on all measures. We all have our pluses and we all have our minuses. No one is zero-defect. No one is all-defect. Stop focussing on isolated qualities. Start relating to the whole being.

However, there is a twist in the tale. When I am dissatisfied with others it makes me unhappy, but when I am dissatisfied with myself it helps me grow. When I benchmark others with my expectations, it leaves me dissatisfied with others and thus affects my happiness. When I benchmark myself with my expectations, the dissatisfaction created propels my growth and development. When I demand a '10 out of 10' from myself on excellence, integrity, purposefulness, character, competence, etc… it shows me where I stand and where I need to go. The gap becomes the scope of my transformation.

On all matters, rate the world on '5' and rate yourself on '10'. Not that the world is any less capable or you are super-human but because… Without happiness there is no life. Without dissatisfaction there is no growth. To live and grow let's be Happily Dissatisfied. Proclaim, “I am living. I am growing.”

I am happy with the way you love me. For my part, I will find more and more ways to love you.