Charm is an charismatic thing which strikes the sight & leaves it impression in heart. that's why first impression is the last impression. Use the following laws to make your personality more & more charming. As follows,
Law : 1 - Control Your Moods :- Make a habit of breaking bad moods. always trying to be nice with peoples & being nice to the people only when you want i.e. as per your mood makes the difference, So it is better to control your moods.
Law : 2 - Offer understanding, Empathy & help.
Law : 3 - Don't desire to be center of attraction, Create your own influence.
Law : 4 - Avoid Fault finding, Spend time to analyze yourself.
Law : 5 -Give Encouragement & Appreciation.
Law : 6 - Avoid desiring to be considered as superior.
Law : 7 - Show Interest.
Law : 8 - Be Co-operative, helpful & Generous.
Law : 9 - Be pleasent & look cheerful.
Law :10 - Be enthusiastic & energetic.
Law :11 - Spread Genuine love & being loved.
Law :12 - Look pleased to see peoples, While speaking be proactive.
Law :13 - Be Nice to the people.
Law :14 - Avoid talking back of the peoples.
Just 14 laws is not the standard set, it is the basic primer for personality.You can create your own laws, you will be able to create your own 14000 laws as you keep on analyzing yourself, learning yourself, analyzing your real self. The more we study our-self, we will come to know more about our-self.
There is no excellent book which will help you to be charming, but, yes, there is an one perfect book which will help you & guide you to be CHARMING and that is your own MIND.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Skills that Enhance Emotional Intelligence
Many different factors contribute to an individual's emotional intelligence, including a person's ability to deal with anger and anxiety and the degree to which a person displays empathy. In addition, researchers Thomas Hatch and Howard Gardner have identified four social skills that contribute to and enhance emotional intelligence and help combat social ineptitudes. These four social skills are described below.
1. An ability to organize groups
A person with this skill possesses the ability to initiate and coordinate the efforts of various people to reach toward common goals. Individuals who can organize groups demonstrate leadership skills, have an ability to relate to people from various backgrounds, and understand what motivates people. In addition, they are capable of offering direction comfortably.
2. An ability to negotiate solutions
Individuals who are able to negotiate have a unique talent for mediating. Not only can these individuals resolve conflicts when they occur, but in many cases, they are capable of keeping the lid on trouble when it's brewing. People who are skilled at negotiation focus on solutions and actions, rather than on problems and roadblocks.
3. An ability to make personal connections
Some people seem to naturally sense and relate to other people's feelings. These people, who are skilled in making personal connections, recognize and respond in appropriate ways to the feelings and concerns of others. They make great team players and business partners, and get along well with virtually everyone because they are so quick to read the emotional climate. This skill helps individuals succeed as sales people, managers, and teachers.
4. An ability to perform social analyses
Social analysis is the skill of knowing and understanding how other people are feeling. This can lead to easy intimacy or, at the very least, the ability to build rapport quickly.
To succeed in both professional and social environments, you need a number of social skills, including the four skills described above. To make a better social impression, self-assess your own social skills and determine your strengths and weaknesses. With this knowledge, you can build on your strengths, overcome your weaknesses, and succeed in every environment.
1. An ability to organize groups
A person with this skill possesses the ability to initiate and coordinate the efforts of various people to reach toward common goals. Individuals who can organize groups demonstrate leadership skills, have an ability to relate to people from various backgrounds, and understand what motivates people. In addition, they are capable of offering direction comfortably.
2. An ability to negotiate solutions
Individuals who are able to negotiate have a unique talent for mediating. Not only can these individuals resolve conflicts when they occur, but in many cases, they are capable of keeping the lid on trouble when it's brewing. People who are skilled at negotiation focus on solutions and actions, rather than on problems and roadblocks.
3. An ability to make personal connections
Some people seem to naturally sense and relate to other people's feelings. These people, who are skilled in making personal connections, recognize and respond in appropriate ways to the feelings and concerns of others. They make great team players and business partners, and get along well with virtually everyone because they are so quick to read the emotional climate. This skill helps individuals succeed as sales people, managers, and teachers.
4. An ability to perform social analyses
Social analysis is the skill of knowing and understanding how other people are feeling. This can lead to easy intimacy or, at the very least, the ability to build rapport quickly.
To succeed in both professional and social environments, you need a number of social skills, including the four skills described above. To make a better social impression, self-assess your own social skills and determine your strengths and weaknesses. With this knowledge, you can build on your strengths, overcome your weaknesses, and succeed in every environment.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Do you have the right questions????
The seeker asked, Why do bad things happen to good people? The Pastor replied, When the question itself is wrong, how do you expect me to answer? The question should have been, 'What happens to good people when bad things happen to them' and the reply is, 'They become better people'!
It is not our intelligence, but it is the direction of our intelligence that determines the pace of our progress. And, our intelligence can be directed,if only we know, how to ask the right questions. Ask, Why me? for all your troubles and listen to the response of your intelligence. Again ask,Why me? for all your countless blessings and again listen to the voice of your intelligence. Experience the difference. Experience the power of questions. Questions have great power. One right question asked at the right time can change the direction of our intelligence, and thus change the direction of our life.
Why is this happening to me? sets your intelligence in one direction,which will lead you to self-pity, while in the same scenario ask, What can I learn from this? and this will direct you to a higher maturity. Why does she not understand me? will lead your intelligence to blame the other and it makes you feel victimised. Instead try What should my approach be to make her understand me? and you will feel you are still in control of the situation. It puts you in a more resourceful and responsible position.
If you are feeling stagnant, if you are not growing at the pace at which you can grow, if you are going in the direction that will not lead you to your goals, if you are encountering issues that are repetitive in nature, then be sure, you are not asking the right questions. Hence, you are not directing your intelligence right.
Simple questions like,What next,How can I do what I am already doing even better, What is the worst that can possibly happen can completely change the way you perceive life. Our intelligence has an inherent compulsion to answer any question that is posed to it, either by you or by
the world. So, choose your questions and direct your intelligence in constructive ways.
One man asked, Why is the apple falling down? and the world has not been the same ever since. In fact, all inventions and discoveries begin with a question. Arjuna with his questions gave a direction to Krishna's intelligence, which is the Bhagavad-Gita.
It doesn't matter if you don't have all the answers. What truly matters is, do you have the right questions? Your intelligence is waiting Ask and you shall receive.
It is not our intelligence, but it is the direction of our intelligence that determines the pace of our progress. And, our intelligence can be directed,if only we know, how to ask the right questions. Ask, Why me? for all your troubles and listen to the response of your intelligence. Again ask,Why me? for all your countless blessings and again listen to the voice of your intelligence. Experience the difference. Experience the power of questions. Questions have great power. One right question asked at the right time can change the direction of our intelligence, and thus change the direction of our life.
Why is this happening to me? sets your intelligence in one direction,which will lead you to self-pity, while in the same scenario ask, What can I learn from this? and this will direct you to a higher maturity. Why does she not understand me? will lead your intelligence to blame the other and it makes you feel victimised. Instead try What should my approach be to make her understand me? and you will feel you are still in control of the situation. It puts you in a more resourceful and responsible position.
If you are feeling stagnant, if you are not growing at the pace at which you can grow, if you are going in the direction that will not lead you to your goals, if you are encountering issues that are repetitive in nature, then be sure, you are not asking the right questions. Hence, you are not directing your intelligence right.
Simple questions like,What next,How can I do what I am already doing even better, What is the worst that can possibly happen can completely change the way you perceive life. Our intelligence has an inherent compulsion to answer any question that is posed to it, either by you or by
the world. So, choose your questions and direct your intelligence in constructive ways.
One man asked, Why is the apple falling down? and the world has not been the same ever since. In fact, all inventions and discoveries begin with a question. Arjuna with his questions gave a direction to Krishna's intelligence, which is the Bhagavad-Gita.
It doesn't matter if you don't have all the answers. What truly matters is, do you have the right questions? Your intelligence is waiting Ask and you shall receive.
Mouse Trap...
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.
What food might this contain? The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning : There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, " Mr.Mouse , I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me." " I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. "Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital , and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.
But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock.
To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.
What food might this contain? The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning : There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, " Mr.Mouse , I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me." " I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. "Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital , and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.
But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock.
To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.
Monday, August 18, 2008
I understand, When ego comes, everything else goes.
Good Article i come across....
The first major thrill after one learns cycling is to take the hands off the handlebar when the cycle is still in motion. The craving is not for the act, but to get noticed. In fact, the eyes wander with longing to see if others have noticed you perform the act. Everyone goes through this phase of life where the ego drives one to do anything and everything only to get noticed and recognised. It is a phase when good is good only when it gains attention; even bad is good if it can draw attention, and ironically, even good is bad if it fails to attract attention.The ego survives on gaining attention. But then, one must outgrow that phase of life.
It is disheartening to see that so many adults, so-called successful people, celebrities included, continue to do things only to seek attention. They never outgrow the clutches of their ego. True, ego can be a source of motivation; but then, ego is a very poor motivator. By its very nature, ego needs feeding; and hence it is a perpetual beggar. The problem with ego is that when ego is fed, you struggle with a superiority complex, and when ego is starved, you suffer from an inferiority complex. Either way it robs you of your peace of mind. The price ego asks of you to be your motivator is your peace of mind. Why would you sell your hair to buy a comb?
It is suffice to know you are holy; there is no need to feel holier than thou
How often, instead of killing our ego and developing a relationship, we kill the relationship and develop our ego.How many precious relationships must have been lost in order to satisfy one's ego? How many golden opportunities must have been missed while you were busy servicing your ego?
An ego-filled heart is always walking on fire. Every moment is heavy, every situation is nerve-racking and every interaction is tense. Never can there be a moment of marriage between ego and ease. With ego, you are struggling all the time to win over the situation; you want to get the better of others. When you transcend ego,you just want to win over yourself; you want to make the most of your own potential. It is you versus you and not you versus the rest.
A crow which was carrying a piece of meat in its beak found itself being chased by all the other birds. It dropped the piece of meat and all the birds went after the meat. Now, alone in the sky, the crow remarked, In losing that piece of meat, I gained the freedom of the skies. Drop the piece of meat - ego, and gain the freedom of peaceful living.
When ego comes, everything else goes. When ego goes, everything else comes. Let your ego, go. How to let go of ego? Simple! Value your peace above everything else...
The first major thrill after one learns cycling is to take the hands off the handlebar when the cycle is still in motion. The craving is not for the act, but to get noticed. In fact, the eyes wander with longing to see if others have noticed you perform the act. Everyone goes through this phase of life where the ego drives one to do anything and everything only to get noticed and recognised. It is a phase when good is good only when it gains attention; even bad is good if it can draw attention, and ironically, even good is bad if it fails to attract attention.The ego survives on gaining attention. But then, one must outgrow that phase of life.
It is disheartening to see that so many adults, so-called successful people, celebrities included, continue to do things only to seek attention. They never outgrow the clutches of their ego. True, ego can be a source of motivation; but then, ego is a very poor motivator. By its very nature, ego needs feeding; and hence it is a perpetual beggar. The problem with ego is that when ego is fed, you struggle with a superiority complex, and when ego is starved, you suffer from an inferiority complex. Either way it robs you of your peace of mind. The price ego asks of you to be your motivator is your peace of mind. Why would you sell your hair to buy a comb?
It is suffice to know you are holy; there is no need to feel holier than thou
How often, instead of killing our ego and developing a relationship, we kill the relationship and develop our ego.How many precious relationships must have been lost in order to satisfy one's ego? How many golden opportunities must have been missed while you were busy servicing your ego?
An ego-filled heart is always walking on fire. Every moment is heavy, every situation is nerve-racking and every interaction is tense. Never can there be a moment of marriage between ego and ease. With ego, you are struggling all the time to win over the situation; you want to get the better of others. When you transcend ego,you just want to win over yourself; you want to make the most of your own potential. It is you versus you and not you versus the rest.
A crow which was carrying a piece of meat in its beak found itself being chased by all the other birds. It dropped the piece of meat and all the birds went after the meat. Now, alone in the sky, the crow remarked, In losing that piece of meat, I gained the freedom of the skies. Drop the piece of meat - ego, and gain the freedom of peaceful living.
When ego comes, everything else goes. When ego goes, everything else comes. Let your ego, go. How to let go of ego? Simple! Value your peace above everything else...
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